What if you lost a multiple?
 Any parent who loses a baby feels grief. But if you lose one, two or a whole set of multiples, you may have other feelings, too. Multiples means being pregnant with more than one baby, such as twins, triplets or more.
Here are some ways you may feel:
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No time to grieve — If you lose a baby and have another that lives, it may be hard to find time to grieve. Even though one of your multiples died, you still have to care for your living baby. This doesn’t leave you much time to grieve for the baby who died.
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Scared — If your living baby is sick, you may be scared that he will die, too. You may not want to hold him, get too close to him or care too much for him. It might be hard for you to go back into the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) to care for your living baby if your other baby died there.
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Confused — Even if only one baby lives, you’re still a parent of multiples. But others may not see you this way. Your family and friends may not want to talk about the baby or babies who died. They may think remembering the baby you lost will make you sad.
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Happy and sad about bringing your baby home — You may feel happy about the baby you bring home from the hospital. And sad about the baby or babies you lost.
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Worried about the future — Often twins and other multiples are born too early. Being born too early can cause health problems for babies. If your baby was born too early, you may be worried that she will have some of these health problems.
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Always reminded of the baby you lost — Your living babies may always remind you of the baby who died. You may wonder what it would have been like if your baby had lived. It might be hard for you to celebrate birthdays and holidays because you’re thinking about the baby who died.
If you’re a parent who has lost a multiple, here are some special online groups that offer help and support just for you:
August 2008
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