What is grief?
 Grief is all the feelings you have when someone close to you dies. You may feel like you can't believe that your baby died. How could this have happened? You may feel sad, angry, confused or alone. You may want to shout or scream or cry. You may want to blame someone. Or you may want to hide under the covers and never come out. At times, your feelings may seem more than you can handle.
The death of your baby can cause intense pain. You may feel the pain in many ways. You may:
- Feel sad or depressed.
- Get angry with yourself, your partner or with other people.
- Get sick easily with colds or stomach aches.
- Forget things or have a hard time concentrating.
- Feel guilty about things that happened in your pregnancy or after your baby was born.
When your baby dies, your hope of being a parent dies, too. The dreams you had of holding your baby and watching him grow are gone. So much of what you wanted and planned for are lost. This leaves a large, empty space inside you. It takes time to heal this empty space.
You may never really get over your baby’s death. But you can move through your grief to healing. As time passes, your pain eases. You will make a place in your heart and mind for the memories of your baby. Over time, you can find peace and become ready to think about the future.
You may grieve for your baby for a long time. Maybe even your whole life. There’s no right amount of time to grieve. It takes as long as it takes for you.
August 2008
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